“I don’t know what I’m doing. Most of the time I just call because I haven’t read the directions.” — a student, on why he calls the office so often.
What’s your favorite way to deal with rude students, or better yet, rude parents of students?
Can I use this copy machine?
Derpette: Sure, do you have FA documents to copy?
Student: No . .
Derpette: What do you want to copy then? This copier is for FA documents (Ugh, hello! You are in the FA office!)
Student: I don’t have my book yet so I wanted to copy some chapters.
… . Oh Lordy!
Student: “HI, I have a Financial Aid questions
Sir, you need to settle down. It is not acceptable to yell at our front desk person!
Student: Ya but she made me feel like it’s my fault!
(Uhm Derrr it is your fault your FA is screwed up idiot!!!)
Why do I have a 1025 dollar Bill?
Me: Well, we sent you a refund for $985 before you added that additional class that you could use to pay your bill.
Student Yelling: You sent me like $800.
Me: … . We sent you $985. Would you like to speak with an administrator?
Student Yelling: THAT’S IT? THAT IS ALL YOU CAN TELL ME?
Me: Would you like to speak with an administrator?
(Because they do no pay me enough to deal with your Bullshit and please tell me more how you do no receive enough free money as I am paying for college out of pocket.)
Tell me about the logistics later, where’s my money?
Me: Unfortunately, due to your unsatisfactory academic progress, you have been suspended from receiving financial aid for any future terms.
*Derp Student nods head, as if understanding what I have explained*
You could either bring up your academic progress to federal and university standards by paying for school on your own until you meet the standards or you could submit an appeal. Keep in mind that appeals can take up to 4 weeks to process.
Derp Student: So I’m not getting my refund tomorrow? What about my rent?
Especially when you know they’re filling out an application for their student, but you’re talking to them over the phone so you feel like you can’t do anything about it!!! Gah.
“Wait, you guys have admissions standards?”
“That’s like, not fair. I was told I could FOR SURE get in.”
- Student: Hi. Is it too late to enroll for classes?
- Me: ...Classes started this morning. Have you applied yet?
- Student: No, but that doesn't take very long, does it?
- Me: I will kill you.